Thursday, January 27, 2005
 

Dr. Moreau would be proud

This is just all too disturbing: Invasion of the Chimeras!

Although, I now plan on saving enough money so that my future offspring may be breeded with an eagle, thus becoming the first flying humans. Take that Michael Jordan!

posted by Jason | 9:04 AM
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Wednesday, January 26, 2005
 

My Impending Doom

Well, I think I've backed myself as far into the corner as possible. I haven't paid attention to my minute usage on my cell phone over the past month (due in large part to the absence of any land line in my apartment) and have grossly exceeded my limit. That being said, it also doesn't help that the credit card bill for my computer and my car insurance is due this next month as well (notwithstanding the normal car payment, rent, utilities, food, and gas that leech off my wallet). I really don't know how I'm going to satisify all these expenses, but God-willing, I'll get through it somehow. Thus, I am declaring February to be my Month of Solitude. Hopefully causing my bank account to escalate and my needless spending to...de..escalate.

There are a few goals I hope to achieve during the Month of Solitude:

First among them is obtaining an actual salaried job. I've tried (unsuccessfully) to pleasantly get my foot in the door at many a company in the past year- No More! The steel-toed boots are going on and I'm whipping myself into a door-kicking frenzy. And if any of you wretched organizations send me a condolence postcard again, you best be ready for that postcard to be rammed down your indifferent throat with my condolences!

Secondly, I plan to recondition my body into a more fitful shape. True, I am no adonis (regardless of what the tabloids may say). Yet I also realize I haven't really attempted to keep myself in any sort of acceptable healthy state- No More! Throw the Totinos pizzas and microwave burritos to Alloicious (poor thing) for I have no need for their provocative greasy goodness. My heart will pump acid and my lungs will breath steam when I burn the tread off of the treadmill and tear the weight machine from the floor.

And lastly, I plan to overhaul this entire website. Now, now, before you all begin to cry out with your claims of 'You've said that before!' and 'Oh Please!' and 'How did I even end up on this site?', let me explain. The previous attempts to redesign my site were all blockaded by the fact that new programs, languages, and hardware would have to be bought and learned- No More! The coffee is brewing and I'm spending those precious waking moments to pour every ounce of my creativity and artistic aptitude into this virtual landscape. So at the end of the month, even more of you will say 'How did the hell did I end up on this site!?'

Hold me to it dear family!
Hold me to it my friends!
Hold me to it you anonymous readers!

posted by Jason | 11:01 AM
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Friday, January 21, 2005
 

Here, here

I ran across this speech today whilst browsing the web and methinks it is a very good read. It's a shame he was never able to present it:

What You'll Wish You'd Known

posted by Jason | 11:33 AM
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Tuesday, January 18, 2005
 

Random Hits Thrown My Way

And now for my favorite Keyphrases used by people that found my site in 2004:


10. jabu keep me true

9. orange county choppers holiday stocking

8. bad stomach aches

7. bad jabu mongolian

6. adjectives describe lips

5. the modern houswife

4. feudal japanese food

3. baby daper (not diaper, daper)

2. ashton kutcher hairline

1. smutty nose island murders


Here's to another year of stumbling onto my site...

posted by Jason | 9:09 PM
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Queen Me

After sleeping on the lowly single-sized mattress for 24 years, I have finally upgraded my bedding status to Queen! Rest assured, I didn't shell out hundreds of dollars for a new mattress (all my money went to this new beauty of a computer...wait a minute.) Yeah, I guess I never did write about that. Well, I ended up pooling my Christmas and my Parents early Birthday present (a check) and put together my own little box of wonder. For all those tech geeks out there I used:

So it's just about exactly what I wanted. Eventually I will get a new HD and some more RAM, but she seems to be running smoothly so far. Except for the front panel, which I can't figure out why...Anyways, back to the more important matters at hand. Namely my luxuriously large new mattress which my parents gave me (since they just bought a new one). It does take up the majority of my little room right now, but I don't think I mind. I really want to do some decorating in here now, but it'll have to wait about a month until I have some money to use.

Speaking of money, I'm starting to get very frustrated with finding a full-time job. The part-time gig at Maritz is wearing thin fast. Thanks mostly to my manager/non-manager Larry (doesn't that name rhyme with corporate stooge?). He's a tool with no supervising skills and he unconsciously imitates Garreth Keenan. Hopefully I can stop playing phone tag with the lady from Robert Half and she'll find me some sort of college-worthy position.

P.s. Apologies to any random person named Larry who reads this.

posted by Jason | 8:20 PM
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Monday, January 10, 2005
 

Impetus For Iapetus Images



And now for some more news from our Solar System that no one may care to read: NASA's Cassini-Huygen craft recently took some interesting photographs of Iapetus (one of Saturn's moons). According to the photo, there "is a long narrow ridge that lies almost exactly on the equator of Iapetus, bisects its entire dark hemisphere and reaches 20 kilometers high (12 miles). It extends over 1,300 kilometers (808 miles) from side to side, along its midsection. No other moon in the solar system has such a striking geological feature." Pretty fascinating stuff. My theory: The ridge is actually the mouth of Iapetus which will come alive in the year 2178 and head towards Earth with the intent of eating it and thus winning the ongoing game of Cosmic Pac-Man.

posted by Jason | 11:36 AM
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Friday, January 07, 2005
 

It may not be Sumatra, but...

...my apartment is flooding (sorda). I woke up this morning and was pleasantly awakened by the toilet overflowing, covering my bathroom in a putrid puddle of water. After vainly attempting to see if the toilet was clogged (alas it was not), I called the office to share the wonderful news of my newly formed pond. While discussing the beauty of this body of water, I found myself stepping in yet another man-made pond in the dining room. Two new ponds in one day- what luck! After calling National Geographic to relay the news of this astounding phenomenon, I rephoned Lindsey at the office (we're on a first name basis now) and was saddened to discover my apartment was not a rapidly developing marshland, but rather a pipe had backed up somewhere in the bowels of the complex and decided to deposit its contents into my living space. So as I sit and smell the odoriferous emanations of the sewage lines, I wish you all a dry and swampless day.

posted by Jason | 12:05 PM
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Sunday, January 02, 2005
 

Top Five Albums of 2004

5. The Fiery Furnaces : Blueberry Boat (43.8 points)
- What a bizarre group! I hadn't heard this brother/sister ensemble's first album, but was confused/intrigued/pleased with this one the more I heard it. Each song seems to be a concise story in-and-of-itself and unravels further upon further listenings.

4. The Secret Machines : Now Here is Nowhere (46.53 points)
- I was pleased with their first album (or is it an EP?) and was surprised at how much they've improved since. Just a solid, flowing rock album with some great pounding drumbeats to keep you bouncing all day long.

3. The Futureheads : The Futureheads (48.1 points)
- Probably the most fun I've had with an album this year. Their songs' energy and catchiness is...well, catchy. "You should be old enough (to know better)!!!"

2. The Arcade Fire : Funeral (49.999998 points)
- It hit me like a hockey stick across the jaw. A tear-inducing, jaw-dropping, stunning display of talent within these songs. This album just barely missed taking over the top spot on my list, but I couldn't give it the edge over...

1. The Walkmen : Bows and Arrows (50.0 points)
- This probably shouldn't be a surprise for anyone who knows me or reads this blog. I've been promoting this masterwork since it came out at the beginning of the year. The urgency and raw emotion in the lyrics is equally matched with a tremendously powerful band. You must buy this album!

[ Feel free to share your 5 favorite albums in my comments ]

posted by Jason | 1:36 AM
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